Seven Days of Our Lives
Written by Revelation

It was decided to have a meeting of the minds before the exchange of the torch from GSR at Delaware Park. We were to bring the Torch to Saratoga Springs, N.Y. for the transfer to Nexis. Rooms were reserved at the local Motel6 (which was a big mistake, because they never turn the lights off). Knightmare owns a chain of Motel6's across the country, so he was present as the mgr. He suggested we rent out the McDonald's across the street to hold the meeting and cater our meal. Getting everyone together was a task in itself, as most of us lived in various parts of the U.S. There were:

TA(Okla), Randyraide(Okla)

Morrissey(N.J.)

Stretch(Texas, but living in Chicago at the moment)

Fallridge(unknown, no contact after being harassed by Morrissey)

Fatattack(Texas, but frequents Las Vegas)

Zdelarocha(N.Y.) hasn't been heard from in a while.

Manowar(Vt., declined due to other Equinic duties)

Woodlyns(N.J. called to say he couldn't make it due to pregnant mares)

Madamson(icebound in Canada, sends regards from Whoops Apocalypse)

Hi-jacked Ted (Toronto, Canada)

Whirlwind(N.Y.)

Topicount(KY)

AFC(S.C.)

Sal(N.Y.) refused to be seen with TA

Jakematt(N.J.)

Mikehusker(Neb.(2-10 cornshuckers))

SDMF(L.I., N.Y.),

Kobras(Ohio)

Ironmike(Toronto)

Bobthehat(Tampa, Florida)

Knightmare(Dallas, TX)

Understell(Wisconsin...but likes to tell everyone he's from Chicago)

Duanecrisp(Spokane, Washington - home of the Gonzaga Bulldogs)

Sallygee(England) - will watch on satellite TV

Most of those that flew in arrived at Philadelphia Int. airport. I asked Morrissey to pick them up (big mistake). He showed up naked as a jaybird to show off his tattoos! Needless to say security grabbed him immediately, confiscated the vehicle and left our fellow members stranded. Fortunately, Motel6 had a van in the area and picked up our stranded members and proceeded to Delaware. Morrissey made his one phone call to me and asked if he could have Topicount plead his case. I scolded him for his lack of humility, and said I would call Topicount on her cell phone. Toppy, as she is affectionately called, is a big time lawyer working for Big, Bigger and Very Big associates out of Lexington, Ky. Giving Toppy a call after I hung up with Morrissey, I asked if she would please give Philadelphia security a call? "Rev, you've got to be kidding!!" was her reply. "It was embarrassing to see his muscular, and finely defined body so grotesquely mutilated by those images!" "Please, pretty please with molasses on top", I begged. "Toppy, you know how he is since he sold his business for millions. He has nothing to do except go to the track and bet on Pro games." "He sold his business...for millions?” she inquired. Err...I really don't mind tattoos, I'll see what I can do."

After hanging up the phone, I went to the motel office to see if any of our local guys had arrived. Knightmare said Jakematt had recently checked in, but saw him leave immediately for the McDonald's across the street. As I entered the Mac machine, there he was at a table with 15 Big Macs and a 32oz Coke. I figured he didn't eat lunch, but he said he always gets hungry when he doesn't travel with his wife Barb. He was also concerned about some of the Barb horses he had entered this past week and that made him hungrier. While sitting and watching the Big Macs disappear, resounding in the distance was the booming of bass speakers. I looked out the front window and saw a black Z-28 pull into the driveway of the Motel6. It pulled up to the office and out stepped SDMF wearing shades, a dirty Tee shirt with a skull monogram on the back, and ratty looking jeans. He was just putting the finishing touches on a Bud. Since he was the newest dude in our rez, I figured maybe I should get a handle on him before the rest of the crowd showed up.

As I entered the Motel6 office, SDMF was at the desk filling out the info sheet and complaining about all the bright lights. Knightmare kept telling him it was the motto of Motel6 to keep the lights on, and there actually was no way of turning them off! After a quick hello and a handshake, we got into the Z-28 and drove to his parking space. Offering to help him load his gear into his room was the first taste of getting to know him better. We unloaded a Fender Bass guitar with a huge amp, a case of tequila, and two cases of Bud (minus 6 bottles). When I asked where his clothes suitcase was, he just smiled. No coat, no change of clothes; hmmm. I suppose he was anti-freezed with all the booze he was hauling. Anyway, after some small talk, I asked him why he decided to reside with us. It seems he had enough of buying booze for underaged boys, and listening to them talk about playing different electronic games. The name GR Simsters made him nauseous. Not that their people were offensive or anything, he just didn't fit in. After all, he was old enough to be a dad to some. Well that made sense. He also told me that, "since most of DelPenn resident's horses sucked, his powerful stables could carry us to greater heights for 2006". "Now that's what we're all about!", I replied. ("hey, this guy will fit in perfectly with all the drunks and braggarts we have", I thought to myself)

After some more small talk, I left just in time to see the GSR guys pull in with the Torch. At first I thought, it wasn't lit!! However, with all the lights the dang Motel6 had on, it was hard to tell. After a heated exchange with GSR over who would win the most Equinics races, we wished each other good luck, and I took the Torch to my motel room.

The next day being Monday, we had roll call to make sure everyone was present. Standing out in the parking lot was the oddest group of people anyone has ever seen. All of the crew that came in the van already had a chance to make some acquaintance, but now we were all together. Not!! Where was Morrissey? No one knew and said they really didn't care, except Toppy who had a forlorn look in her eye. OK, we couldn't wait out in the cold any longer, so we went across the street to McDonald's for a breakfast meeting. After ordering, we set the tables in a rectangular shape, so we could eat and discuss our plans for getting the Torch to Saratoga Springs. I assigned offices as follows: Topicount would take the minutes of the meeting, TA was the Sgt. at Arms, AFC was the surgeon on call, Fatattack was the treasurer, to insure everyone paid for their meal. As the meeting came to order, Mikehusker raised his hand to speak....

"Nebraska will go 11-0 in 2006!!" he shouted. The tabled erupted! Chaos....TA and Randyraide attacked him, Stretch was beside himself shouting "Longhorns rule!", Fatattack was taking odds on how it would all turn out, Toppy was writing in her notepad, Jakematt was finishing off his fifth egg mcmuffin, Bobthehat took the break in the meeting to show off his new line of hats to Kobras and Ironmike, WW took the break in the meeting as an opportunity to talk to the chef, and SDMF was pouring some tequila into the coffee cups of Understell and Duanecrisp (all of them already looked a little high). The McDonald's mgr. stopped the fiasco by shouting he would call the cops if we didn't settle down.

After everyone was seated again, the meeting again came to order. I asked Toppy to read back the notes she had taken. She was silent, so I asked to see her notepad. All she had written was a list of court cases she had scheduled for the year. I asked if she could please keep her mind on the meeting and put her personal thoughts behind for the moment. "Look, we need to have a plan to get the Torch to N.Y. by Saturday, so do you have any suggestions as to who will be taking each leg of the trip?" TA spoke up and said that due to our ages, the youngest and fittest of our group should take the longer legs of the journey and get the Torch to at least the N.J./N.Y. border. SDMF shouted that that was unfair since he was the newest member and younger; he felt that this was the only reason we invited him to reside at DelPenn! Mikehusker told him to stop cryin' and act like a man. SDMF (a little tipsy by now), threw his coffee cup at the Husker, and chaos broke out again! SDMF was restrained by Understell and Duanecrisp, both of whom chided him for wasting the tequila ladened coffee on a cornshucker from Nebraska. AFC had to attend to Mikehusker who had his mouth opened when the cup was thrown and was choking. The mgr. shouted threats again. The McDonald's mgr. put the phone back down as he saw we had settled down, and asked WW to "please get out of the kitchen". "We need to stop the bickering and get down to business", said Bobthehat. "I have a new line of Equinic hats I brought along, so..." He was immediately interrupted by Randyraide and TA (who both boycotted the previous Equinics), and told if he didn't sit down and shut up, grievous harm would come to him! By now it was obvious we needed more time to become acquainted with each other before any plans could be made. Everyone agreed to go back to the Motel6 and leave the doors of their rooms open, so we could all visit one another to chat. Motion was made to adjourn the meeting till Tuesday at 9 AM.

Leaving McDonalds, and crossing the street, we all were blinded by the bright lights of the Motel6, and almost succumbed to a passing eighteen wheeler! We finally found the entrance to the motel, and waited in the entranceway to get our sight back. Even then it was difficult as the hallway lights were on. We had to rely on SDMF to guide us as he was the only one with sunglasses. After everyone was situated in their rooms, I called each of them to remind them to leave their doors open. I also called the front desk and asked Knightmare to have sunglasses delivered to each of our group. A couple of hours later the sunglasses arrived and all seemed to be in order. I waited patiently for someone to come to my room, but alas, no one came.

It was time to make some visits of my own. The hallway had a distinct odor to it and it was coming from the room of TA and Randyraide. What a scene as I opened the door! TA was brewing something with his chemistry set, Stretch was manning a Gatling gun that was positioned out the back window, and his head looked scorched! There were sounds coming from the back bedroom, also. "What the heck is going on?" I asked. TA was as high as a five star general, barking orders to a stone-faced Stretch to make sure no Liberals were in the area and to shoot to kill if there were! "What's going on in the bedroom?", I then asked. TA ignored the question, so I proceeded to open the door. Lo and behold! There was Randyraide sparring with a blowup doll that looked like Mark Gastineau! He was beside himself mumbling something about how his prize pigs should have taken the blue ribbon at the state fair. I was told he raised prize pigs, but didn't really believe the story until now. I closed the door immediately. Asking TA what the heck he was brewing, he replied, "dehydrated Crown and Coke". "This will allow me to drop a couple of my concentrated tablets into a glass of soda water, and POOF! Instant Crown and Coke! Ice is O.K., but the glass holds more Crown without it." He said he "set a dudes hair on fire from across the room with a can of ether starting fluid and a cigarette lighter once because powdering the ethanol and extracting the Coke and Crown flavoring with ethyl ether, then drying it out, was very flammable." All I could think of was getting outta there. Coughing and trying to catch a breath, I left to go back to my room. Feeling a little high after sucking in those fumes from TA's chemistry concoction, I fell asleep. What a sleep it was!

Tuesday morning must have come and went, as I was awakened by a pounding on my door. As I opened my eyes, I was blinded by the lights in the room and had to put on my sunglasses! "Hold your horses, I'm coming!" It was Knightmare and he was upset over the fact that the hall smelled bad and that all the rooms that were to be cleaned were in a sad state of affairs. He was somewhat appeased by the $100.00 bill that suddenly appeared in his hand. He asked where the torch was and I said I had it. He said, "where?'. "Right here...oh no!" The torch was gone!!! Someone must have taken it while I was passed out last night! Knightmare went back to the office and called the cops. While he was doing that, I started to check the other rooms. Topicount was on the phone with her associates and said she had no idea where it could be. AFC, and Understell were next. AFC answered the door said he didn't know what happened and was irritated by the constant haggling that went on between Understell and Hi-jacked Ted the night before. They both went on and on about their only claims to fame in the sim...Western Groom or Alone That Baby! AFC then proceeded to the closet. When he opened the door, understell woke up violently...kicked the wall and the coat rack fell on him! He was shouting something about being at the Breeder's Bowl next year, for sure. "He sleeps in the closet?" I asked. "Don't ask", said AFC. Leaving the "doc" to administer to his friend, I proceeded to check on TA, RR, and stretch. Stretch groggily opened the door and said that they were all passed out last night after drinking TA's C&C. Next up was mikehusker, duanecrisp, and bobthehat. Besides them being up most of the night arguing about football and basketball, they knew nothing about the torch's where-abouts. Fatattack, sdmf, and jakematt were rooming together, so they were next. They already got a call from knightmare about the incident. Jakematt already had brought back egg mcmuffins from across the street for their breakfast and beer/tequila bottles were strewn everywhere. Seems like they were partying all night and didn't see or hear anything other then sdmf's horrible guitar playing. So much for any clue as to what may have happened. Last but not least, was the Canadian group with an Ohioan thrown in. Knocking on the door, I heard someone say, "It's open". Walking in, there was Ironmike and Hi-jacked Ted huddled in the corner. In the middle of the room was Kobras playing a flute and enchanting a 10 foot long cobra!!! I didn't ask, and left quickly. Knightmare caught wind of the snake charming and called NWRC to pick Kobras up immediately.

The police finally arrived and took down all the information we could give them. While they were there, topicount noticed that their uniforms were odd. She went back to her room to make some calls.

Wednesday came and went, with no contact from the police. Finally, early Thursday morning, topicount was pounding on my door saying she found out the uniforms of the police were phonies, and she had a tip from her associates that a Delaware police car had been spotted at the local Arcade. TA, RR, and Stretch were assigned to check on the Arcade. Sure enough, when they arrived at the Arcade they spotted Given and Lenny (GR simsters), playing electronic games at the arcade! Stretch waited at the patrol car, while TA and RR approached the two youngsters. TA pulled out his Glock and shoved it against Given's back. Immediately Given froze and yelled out, "I picked the Giants, but bet the Panthers!". At that point, Lenny tried to make a break for the door but was tackled by RR. At that moment, RR decided his next horse would be named. "Smackdown Raider". The GRS perpetrators were then brought outside and forced to open the truck of the phony patrol car. Low and behold, there was the torch barely lit! Stretch immediately grabbed it and waved it around until it flamed up. The GRS kiddies were then released to go back into the Arcade. When TA and company arrived back at the Motel6, they told us what had occurred. We had to restrain SDMF, as he went ballistic! After calm was restored, we all realized that time was growing short and we needed to get the torch on the move. We realized we had to cheat a bit to get the torch on the road to N.Y. So we asked TA and RR what we could do. They told us not to worry, they'd get the torch to Albany, N.Y. by Friday morning. Stretch said he wanted no part in their plans and would stay with the group. SDMF volunteered to help them in their nefarious plan and began to pack his car. We all chipped in to get them on their way, and in about an hour they were gone. Everyone was exhausted and frustrated. This wasn't going well at all. Since our plans were now in disarray, we decided to hold a meeting at MacDonald's. Knightmare put a "capacity full" sign on the office door, and we all went across the street.

TA, Raider and SDMF are masters at cheating in the sim, the so-called A.R.S.E. group, so being charged with an overnight assignment to get the torch to Albany was a perfect job for them. TA and SDMF were riding in the Z28 while Raider, a fast runner, but a sprinter, not a router, much less a marathoner, was running down the highway carrying the torch. In 7 or so miles they were approaching the New Jersey turnpike. TA was frantically dialing his cell phone, since he had an alert from H.Q. that pedestrians, much less torch bearers are not allowed on the turnpike. Blast the luck, running into problems already, and its only 8 P.M. They have to make over 260 miles in just 8 hours, and cannot go on the turnpike. Another problem, Raider is fast, but he will not last long on this run and can't possibly make the 33 miles per hour it would require. SDMF is picking at his guitar as he drives, making TA quite insane with the horrible sound. Mission impossible? Certainly, but nothing new for this group of DelPenn's finest. TA pulled out his hip flask and mixed up a double Crown and Coke, a little handicapping fluid to help him think between the noise of sdmf's "music" and Raider crying about being tired while still running outside. ( no way was TA going to take over, manual labor ain't his thing)

The Crown tasted great, but the first toll gate of the turnpike was looming near. They reached the turnpike entrance and were waved off by a tollbooth agent with the most terrible nasal accent TA had ever heard, so SDMF translated for him: "get the Hell outta here". What language is he speaking, TA inquired. "Yankee", said SDMF, ah, no wonder.....SDMF lives in Nu Yawk, after all. So there they were at the entrance to the New Jersey turnpike, unable to go forward, having to have Raider run in circles with the Equinics torch while SDMF played his version of Van Halen's greatest tunes, and TA threw his bowler hat on the ground and stomped on it for all the noise. TA told him to quit playing and go relieve Raider running the torch in circles. SDMF balked at this idea until TA palmed his Glock and gave him the coldest stare he'd ever seen from a human being or even a biker. Raider came over, totally out of breath, asking TA if he'd managed to contact any of his old friends in the military for assistance. TA smiled and told him, but of course, old man, but of course. Now Raider knew TA pretty well, when his accent reverted to the Queen's English, there was usually big trouble in store for everyone within miles. Only too much Crown could do this. Raider asked TA "How many drinks you had tonight?" TA replied "only one." "what are those pills you keep eating like candy, aspirin?" Then it struck Raider like a ton of bricks....the Crown tablets...oh, no. "Are you eating Crown pills, TA?" TA just smiled and told Raider "get some bloody rest, mate, "they'll be 'ere in a 'alf hour". "Who", said Raider? You'll see, mate. Twenty-seven minutes later, TA was on the cell phone with Revelation as everyone heard a strange sound, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop with a particular recurring beat that never fails to draw the attention of any Vietnam veteran.

It was a UH-1, a restored Huey U.S. Army helicopter that TAs old friend Jack had been showing off in Washington, D.C.. How fortuitous for the DelPenn crew. The Equinics torch glowed brightly as the wind kicked up when TA guided the beautiful rotary winged bird down to a perfect landing, as he had so many times before. "Hi, Jack", yelled TA. "Don't ever say that TA", Jack said. "People get the wrong idea". "Oh yes, bad play on words, I remember, Jack". "Sorry". As the whining jet turbine engine winded down, TA briefed Jack on the mission. "Piece of cake" Jack said. Now about 10 P.M, they would have to run nothing close to the Huey's 185 MPH top speed to make the agreed upon a secret LZ (landing zone) at Boght Corners, N.Y. by 6 A.M. In fact, they can just coast and drink Crown and Coke all the way there. The briefing was over, Raider climbed on board with the Equinics torch and took the door gunner's spot. SDMF refused to board, didn't want to leave his "Z" there, so he took off to parts unknown. Jack got in the left seat and TA strapped himself in the co-pilot seat. The UH-1 starting its turbine windup, another one-of-kind sound, and soon they were rising up off the ground, and slightly forward. At about 50 feet, Raider aimed the M-60 machine gun he was manning at the toll booth with the rude Yankee, and sent a burst of tracers over it! "Yikes Jack? the M-60 is armed?", asked TA "Restored is FULLY restored in my book", replied Jack.

They both laughed the laugh of knowing comrades on a mission again. Ahhh, TA loves the ride of a Huey, good noise, good vibes. Unlike sdmf's infernal guitar playing. Jack had come and bailed TA out yet again. God knows he bailed many others out as a Dustoff (air ambulance) pilot in his three Vietnam tours. TA had never seen anyone fly into such hot LZs and take so much hostile fire. You've got to be a bit nuts to do a job like that...but that's another story, another era. For now, us RELICS of wars past, man and machine were slowly enroute to our 6 A.M rendezvous with our DelPenn comrades at our chosen airfield in Boght Corners. Whoop, whoop, whooping along into the New Jersey night, Raider shooting a billboard with tracers now and then to keep himself amused. We safely landed at our secret LZ in Boght Corners, N.Y. at 5:53 AM. This leg of the mission is a complete success, they still have the brightly burning torch, and are 25 miles north of our final destination. No one will ever know how they cheated to get the torch here on time; its time for a human runner to take over.

Back in Delaware things weren't going well. Barb had arrived to pick up jakematt because she had heard that there was no sales tax in Delaware and she needed to go shopping, NOW! Bobthehat tried to sell her a few of many hats he had brought since she appeared to be on a shopping spree, but she laughed him off. He got mad, called a taxi, and left for a flea market he saw advertised on the MacDonald's bulletin board. Understell and Hi-jacked Ted got into a brawl again over there only "claim to Fame" sim horses! The mgr. called the cops and they were hauled away for disorderly conduct. While that fiasco was taking place, a car pulled up in front of the Big Mac with the horn blasting away. There in the driver's seat was a scary site! A woman with three eyes was winking (with two of her eyes). Stretch brushed me aside and said "sorry, I have to leave". This was getting insanely ridiculous! Oblivious to what had taken place was whirlwind who was in the kitchen chiding the food handlers. Mikehusker was in a corner booth with duanecrisp trying to explain the meaning of what ARSE meant, and who in the world was this "super" group everyone was arguing about? (crispy is new to our group and hadn't got his feet wet yet) Fatattack, all this time was on the phone to Vegas getting a line as to whether or not we would get the torch to Saratoga Springs on time. Knightmare looked at me, shook his head and said he was going back to the Motel6 office to regain his senses. He also had some articles to write for the BTB.

The only bright spots were the fact that topicount and AFC had already left to rendezvous with TA and company in Boght Corners, N.Y. by 6 A.M. So I decided to call topicount on her cell to see how that was working out. She said that all was going well, except that Cathy (AFC's wife) had called him, and said that when we got to Albany, he was to catch a plane back to South Carolina ASAP! She said that there was a stomach flu that broke out in their city and he had 20 patients with severe hemorrhoid conditions that needed immediate attention. Well, as long as topicount was on her game, I felt relieved. When I hung up, the rest of us got together and I told them what was taking place up north. Mikehusker blurted out, "who cares!". He was frustrated with duanecrisp because "crispy" still couldn't get the grasp of what "ARSE" meant. "Crispy" lashed back that he no longer cared, and that his beloved "Gonzaga Bulldogs" were playing this weekend, so he was catching the next flight back to Spokane. Understell and Hi-jacked Ted were still arguing about their only claims to fame in the sim...Western Groom or Alone That Baby! "What next?", I thought.

Oh no! Who walks in the Big Mac but morrissey! Where the heck have you been?, we all cried out. Seems like morrissey after being baled out of Philadelphia security, went to a tattoo parlor and got his chest shaven, and then proceeded to have "5 time HOFer" tattooed on his chest. Having millions in the bank seems to have a weird effect on people. Fatattack, at that point broke in excitedly with news that he had great odds on us getting the torch to the "Springs" on time! Seems our old friend TS was in Vegas spreading the word that because of the lack of organization and rebellious nature of DelPenn, they would never be able to get the torch to Saratoga by the deadline. We hadn't heard from the toiletscrubber in some time, but knew he was a true DelPenner at heart. We pooled our resources together, and Fats made a huge bet on our getting the torch to Saratoga within the deadline. Life was good. With that done, morrissey suggested going to the track as he had some "hot" horses going in the 5th and 7th at Delaware. The group agreed, but I decided to head home as the grandkids were coming over for the weekend.

When I arrived at the house a couple of hours later, I phoned TA to see how things were going. I could hardly make out his voice as he was back in the chopper hovering over topicount as she was about a mile from the relay point. Topicount had been running/walking the last five miles with one shoe off, as her big toe was swollen again. He told me the crowd was small because the local TV stations hadn't got the word the torch was on the way. The underhanded ARSE tactics had worked!

As toppy crossed the finish line and handed the torch over to Nexis, our journey was complete. What a journey it had been. Rest was in order, but just then, the grandkids arrived. They shouted with glee, "Poppop can you take us to the zoo?" I replied, "I've been to the zoo all week, let's go to the movies."

(I would like to thank all our residents for the information provided to write this dribble)